I wanted to pursue adoption long before Andy, but we didn't move forward on that journey until we both agreed. He knew it was an affirmative to adopt the girls before I did. We didn't say yes, though, until we both agreed. For Jay, we felt the call at the same time to pursue another adoption.
Our house is another example. We searched for more than two years for a home to buy. It wasn't until we decided to look in this town where we live now that we were in agreement. Looking for two years and then suddenly -- swirl and blink -- and we were homeowners within just a few days of seeing the house for the first time.
Three weeks ago I shared an idea with Andy about a major decision regarding one of our kids. He was totally against it. In fact, I was a little taken aback by how strongly he felt against the idea. I almost took the idea, folded it tiny, and shoved it into the closet in the back of my mind. Maybe I was wrong about this idea.
But it didn't feel right.
So I prayed. I prayed that Andy and I would have the same heart for the situation. I asked for our hearts to be changed, to be in agreement, to be together and aligned with the will of God. I asked two friends to pray also.
I expected my heart to be released, to realize I was being overly sensitive.
I wish I wasn't so surprised this morning when Andy told me he changed his mind. He wasn't against the idea, nor was he just going along because he thought that's what I wanted.
He wanted to think more about the same idea as me.
I don't want to be surprised when God answers a prayer. I pray in faith, expecting God to move. It's not so much that I'm shocked when prayers are answered, but I'm surprised by the way they are answered. In this case, I was sure it was my heart that needed to change.
Perhaps it is awe that I am experiencing.
The Creator of the universe cares about me. He cares about the decisions Andy and I are making for our kids. He cares enough to change hearts in order to lead us in the direction of His will.
Yes, we should stand in awe as prayers are answered and lives are altered.
And I can't help but wonder if perhaps we miss answered prayers because the answer doesn't come as we expect. Sometimes the answer can be a completely different package. God has a history of accomplishing His will in unexpected ways.
The Savior of the world spent his first night on earth in a manger.
David beat Goliath with a sling shot.
Saul went blind so he could see the truth.
Multitudes were fed with two fish and five loaves of bread.
I'm learning to pray continually and expectantly. It is my hope when prayers are answered my surprise with turn to awe. Surprise is an emotion that stems from unbelief.
Awe, however, awe comes from audaciously trusting Jesus and knowing he loves you back.