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Friday, February 13, 2015

CELEBRATE This Week: LXIX


I'm glad you are here to celebrate! Share a link to your blog post below and/or use #celebratelu to share celebrations on Twitter. Check out the details here. Celebrate This Week goes live on Friday night around 10(ish). Consider it as a weekend celebration. Whenever it fits in your life, add your link. Please leave a little comment love for the person who links before you.
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Today I celebrate ROOTS. 
 
They matter. 
 
I look at my own children, children who wandered before they came home to our forever family. 
 
It takes awhile to build a bond. It takes even longer to grow roots.
 
Experts talk about attachment disorder. Whole books are written about the woes of losing a biological family. Chapters and chapters devoted to the hardships of spending too long in foster care or orphanages. Case reports of children who bounce from home to home.

The outlook is dreary. The future bleak. Dreams shattered.
 
This week Jordan shattered a large mirror -- the one that sits on our fireplace mantel. He didn't have to wonder anymore about the reason we have a no throwing balls in the house rule.

Usually this kind of thing is a catalyst to Jordan hiding and lying about his mistake. Then when he's confronted, there is a huge blow up followed by a major melt down. It doesn't matter how nonchalant we are about the ordeal, he makes it an enormous problem in his mind.

So when he called to confess, we were a little surprised. Then he followed up with a text message. When we got home, he met us at the door, looked us in the eye and said, "I was throwing the ball in the house. I broke the mirror. I'm not sure how to clean it up, but I'll help. I'm sorry. I thought maybe I could do the dishes tonight as an apologetic action."
 
(We talk a lot about apologetic actions around our house.)

I raised my eyebrow. Andy winked at me. And we hugged Jay. We cleaned up the mirror. We went on with the evening. Jay realized the freedom that comes in owning up to our mistakes. 

He grew some roots this week, learning the power of unconditional love.

"You know, Mom, before, I'd have to eat in my room for breaking something like that. I'd have to eat in my room for days, maybe even weeks. Yous guys know that I don't mean to make a mistake. I mean, I knew it was wrong to throw the ball in the house, but I wasn't trying to break the mirror."

"I know," I said and pulled him into my lap. I know he's too old to rock, but when you miss all those first years, I think it's justified.

"I think being a forever family means people think the best of you."

Roots.

This kid is growing roots. It's possible for him to grow roots because he has parents who are rooted. We have firm roots of faith, which provide us with the wherewithal to allow our children to push and test and determine if our love is real, if it's forever. As they test, we find they grow roots of their own.

The power of strong roots will always prevail.

Looking forward to reading your celebrations this week. Link-up below!

12 comments:

  1. Ruth, your forever family sounds like a loving and caring bunch. This post is a tribute to the love that families share no matter what befalls them. It makes me realize that I am with mine through thick and thin. Love prevails and faith binds us together.

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  2. There was a time when my daughter crawled in bed with us. She was old! and this time she needed to do that. Your rocking of Jay reminded me of that, Ruth. Yep, whatever happens to be needed "needs" to be there I think. My first thought (& probably yours as a parent) is I'm glad no one was hurt. Things can be replaced, and mistakes can have apologetic actions. Good for Jay!

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  3. Wow. Lots of wow in this post. What strong roots indeed. Thank you for sharing Ruth.

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  4. "I think being a forever family means people think the best of you." I love this! YES!! This. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! It's certainly one to celebrate!

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  5. Jay had the strength to face the consequences of his actions because of the love that surrounds him and the truth that this family loves him, no matter what he does. What a powerful celebration for you this week!

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  6. Roots. They take care to grow strong. I always love your stories on how you and Andy go about that. Love and hugs.

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  7. Roots to wings! This is a great lesson for all parents, not just ones who adopt. We all get overly concerned about "rules" and forget that they are children who need to know how to make mistakes.

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  8. Thank you for sharing this story of love, acceptance and growing.

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  9. "A forever family means people think the best of you." What a profound realization for Jay. So glad he's growing roots. So glad he has a forever family. Thanks, Ruth, for sharing this story.

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  10. With both of my children graduating this spring, I have been thinking a lot about roots and wings. Both go in opposite directions, but something we want our children to have. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  11. The first part of your story connected with me so strongly. It made me think of how the need for roots manifests itself in students (as a teacher of students with destabilizing conditions outside of school). The moment where I truly fell in love with your words, though, was in that wink from Andy. So much was communicated in that simple moment. You are wise parents. Your love for each other is manifested in your love for your children. And there is no such thing as too old to rock--I suspect Mama needed that rocking as much as Jordan did!

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  12. Yes Ruth it is with and through roots that we ALL can take root and take risks and grow. You are an awesome mom to some very fortunate kids.

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