March 25, 2011
|Middle School Play Directors: Becca -n- Ruth|
It is 10:57. I just got home and my bones are tired. Why am I facing a computer screen and writing, even though I left the house at 6:15 am, led writing workshop in four classrooms, joined two teachers in reflective practice meetings, planned a writing celebration, started a new book study with a group of primary teachers, walked forty minutes for exercise, drove 150 miles, went to a doctor’s appointment, received 5 books in the mail, visited with my mom at the library, received 221 email messages, 6 text messages, 12 phone calls, and 2 voice mails today, stopped for gummy worms on the way home, played trains, attended the high school musical with Becca, was hugged hugged hugged by “our” drama kids (the kids who are now seniors, but began acting in the middle school plays Becca & I directed), showered, stretched, and poured a glass of water, unpacked my bag, plugged in my computer, and told myself I will write?
I will write.
The habit is too important to break. The challenge is close to being completed and if sixty other slicers wrote today, I can too. I’m addicted to the rush of mashing words together in powerful ways. Being a writer is about collecting words, even when it is hard to find the time. I don’t just want to like the idea of being a writer. It is more than a romantic, feel-good notion. For me, being a writer is finding the time to put words on the page, doing it even when I don’t feel like it, regardless of if I feel it is good enough or worthy enough or even if anyone is going to respond to it.
I will write for me. I want to believe in myself. I want to know I can do the things I set my mind to do. I want to know I’m not too busy in the midst of this life.
I will write for me. (I’ll revise for others.)