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Friday, October 2, 2015

The Best is Celebration: CELEBRATE This Week {102}


I'm glad you are here to celebrate! Share a link to your blog post below and/or use #celebratelu to share celebrations on Twitter. Check out the details here. Celebrate This Week goes live on Friday night around 10(ish). Consider it as a weekend celebration. Whenever it fits in your life, add your link. Please leave a little comment love for the person who links before you. 

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I love having a teenage daughter. My favorite season of parenthood yet. This girl is so much fun.

These words on Instagram, posted by one of my favorite writers and speakers, could have been my undoing. 

I could have thought, rather sarcastically, That must be nice for you.
I could have thought, rather practically, Just wait a week or a day or an hour.
I could have thought, rather callously, Maybe it's because your daughter hasn't looked trauma in its ugly eyes and is fighting to wholly heal.

The truth about things that could be our undoing is they don't have to be.

I will not allow a post or update or pretty picture to make me feel inferior.
I will not give space for self-pity to take root because of comparison.
I will not succumb to thinking anything less than the best of people.

I reread the caption, My favorite season of parenthood yet, and I was reminded of a young momma who was completely captivated by her blue-eyed toddler. I was younger then, before I was scraped by the ugly of the world, and I was enamored by how quickly my little boy changed. I missed the late night bottles in the wooden rocking chair, but I loved that he danced in the kitchen while I cooked dinner. I missed pureeing the baby food, but I loved that he took the last sip of my tea each morning.

I realized parenting was always going to be about missing something and loving something new. The seasons change. I decided then, as a young momma -- before I knew the way trauma changes a child and before I knew I had two daughters and another son out there facing the ugly this world offers, waiting to someday let me be their momma too -- I decided I would always allow my favorite season of parenthood to be the current season.

The Instagram post stung not because I'm an inferior momma, but  because it revealed that I'm not keeping up my end of the deal. I'm not letting right now be my favorite season of parenthood.

Today I claim the territory of being a momma to a brand new fourteen year old (happy birthday, Hannah!) as my favorite time to be Hannah's momma. Today I celebrate a few of the things I love about having a teenage daughter.

  • She paints her nails and talks to me about nothing and everything while she does it.
  • She helps clean the house, and it is usually better than what I do myself.
  • She laughs at my quirky jokes.
  • She does her own homework and helps her siblings with their homework.
  • She stays up a little too late reading.
  • She still snuggles on the couch under a quilt during a movie.
  • She likes to share clothes with me.
  • She asks me to pray for her.
  • She reads scripture and likes to talk about it.
  • She's curious.
  • She's grateful for family.
  • She loves me back. 
I was too close to missing this updated perspective because I almost let something I saw on social media be my undoing. In a world that demands people to jockey for attention, I will pause before reacting

And in this pause, I will sort through thoughts and feelings and perceptions until I find the best in others and the best in myself.


This is celebration.

Thanks for joining the celebration. Link up below and then invite a friend to join too.

11 comments:

  1. I love how honest you are in your posts and how immediate and real. Celebrating each stage is important. I am at the stage of Mother of the Bride. Yikes! This is an exciting and scary time. I want so much for it to perfect for her. I celebrate that a tough conversation this week ending with "I love you." Thanks for the reminder.

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  2. Happy Birthday, Hannah! And happy day to you too, Ruth.

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  3. Happy Birthday to Hannah! I love how reflective you are!! Thank you for the reminder and as always, thank you for celebrating!

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  4. Ruth how I treasure your honesty and the way you push me to think beyond what hurts my feelings to celebration! Spending just a few minutes with Hannah in June was delightful (as was being with the whole Ayres familly:). What a lovely young woman she is becoming! Birthday blessings to her.

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  5. Ruth, this post is important to me. I see all the posts about the amazing things kids do. People are obsessed with social media and it can be overwhelming to see what all these kids can do when your kid can't. I have the child who has a physical disability so it's different, but I know where you are coming from. Thanks for writing so honestly because there are parents who need that side too. Happy Birthday to your daughter!

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  6. Happy, happy Birthday to Hannah. I wish you and my grandson could meet. He's 14 too, and has a good time in life, also helps cook and clean! Thanks Ruth for sharing your thoughts about words posted. In my mentoring/coaching seminar these past few days, we spoke of untangling the words that people say, to see the truth of them as they intersect in our lives. It seems that your untangling has become a lovely message, "it doesn't have to be our undoing". Good for you! Enjoy this birthday weekend celebration, too.

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  7. You have a gift of sending the right message out into the world. I can just picture you and Hannah together, momma and daughter sharing the joy of togetherness. I hope all the Ayres have a wonderful celebration of Hannah's day.

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  8. Thank you, thank you Ruth for sharing your beautiful and wise words.

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  10. This post is great. I liked the thought that being a Mom always means change and the reminder to enjoy the stage you and your child have arrived at. Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter and wishing you both many times filled with happiness and love to share.

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  11. There's so much outside influence that can ruin our days but I'm glad you didn't let it get you down.

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