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Monday, April 24, 2017

grace for myself {CELEBRATE This Week: 189}


Typically we celebrate Friday around 10 pm through the weekend. I always leave the link-up open for a few days more, though. I think celebration is an act of resilience rather than a scheduled event. So, today, even though the weekend has come and gone, I'm giving myself grace and offering a public celebration. Thanks, Ramona, for your sweet nudges of love to keep pressing on even when I think it's too late.

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I try to write celebration posts early on Friday mornings. I like the organic nature of celebrating in real-time alongside of this community rather than scheduling it several days in advance. This is a noble idea in theory, but sometimes difficult in reality. 

Last Friday, after the kids were in bed and before Andy and I were ready to watch a crime show, I knew I needed to open my computer and set the celebration link-up in motion. I also knew if I did then I would be too tired to watch a show with Andy. I decided time with Andy trumped the celebration link-up.

I woke up on Saturday with excitement for being home. It's been the first Saturday for more than 7 months when we didn't have to go anywhere. I planned to do things like laundry and going through the basket in the kitchen with important papers and washing the baseboards. First, though, I was going to celebrate.

Then I saw the bananas. They had one of two destinies: compost or banana bread. I decided to make banana bread. I also decided not to rush. The banana bread baked and filled the house with the aroma of time. Not-so-little kids found their ways to the kitchen. I made hot chocolate, hot tea, orange juice, and chocolate milk. They sat in the kitchen. I sliced the banana bread.

I poured dark coffee for Andy and sat at the kitchen table with him. The back door stood open and birds sang melodies of time. I didn't rush.

I have to be proactive about not rushing. There is so much I like to do in a day. If I'm not careful, the day is over and I'm tired. We're not designed to be tired.

At some point, I decided it was best not to open my computer. My feelings argue, trying to determine if I should feel ashamed of this truth. I type and delete, type and delete the apology that I feel should follow this admission of deciding not to post the celebration link-up. Yet, by contrast, I'm delighted by the bold move to not open my computer.

Ideally, I would decide to go dark ahead of time. I would have scheduled the link-up in advance. It would have all went without a hitch and no one would know I retreated. I would have been a "good" blogger.

It was pointed out to me years ago that I don't meet the standard of "good" blogger because I'm not always reliable. I've berated myself enough for this over the years; I do not need to do it now. In fact, it's why the celebration community is an open invite with deadlines fashioned in ish terms. It opens on Fridays around 10-ish. It closes at the start-ish of the week. I do deadlines like this because this blog was designed with open arms for all writers in all walks of life. This blog was created so I had space to be myself as a writer. The truth is, sometimes I decide not to write at a scheduled time.

Life is hard enough, we don't need to be belittled for missing a deadline. 

I wrote my very first blog post on March 23, 2006. Since then I have blogged collaboratively and independently on nearly 10 different blogs. I'm not always predictable in my posting, but I continue to be a blogger.

Perhaps it's having more than a decade of blogging under my belt... 
Perhaps it's that I'll be turning 40 in a few months... 
Perhaps it's that I've finally accepted that life is what it is...

But I have finally come to terms that I can be a good blogger and miss a post. 

This is possible because I have a tribe full of grace. You, my dear friends, are my celebration. I write because you read. I write because you care about my story and not about pre-scheduled blog posts. I write because you are there on the other side of the screen. 

Thank you for letting me be more than a good blogger. 

Thank you for the gift of letting me be me.

I can't think of a better reason to celebrate post-deadline than this. One day, when the humans who call me Mom outgrow their teenage years, I will hope to be a "good" blogger. Until then, I'm going to celebrate the impossible -- I have a tribe despite the unfavorable conditions of the way I blog.

[If you have a link you want to share, please add it to the comments. Thanks for celebrating.]


13 comments:

  1. Hello Ruth!

    As a new blogger (just launched www.doingtheworkthatmatters.com last week!) I am beginning to dip my toe into the world of blog link-ups thanks to my friend, Margaret Simon. We did a Google Hangout yesterday, so she could share with me a few link-ups I might be interested in. She was concerned that you had not posted your Celebration link up yet, so this morning I checked back in with you and was happy to see your post.

    Grace, Grace! I’m all about it, dear lady. Just reading your honest reflections about blogging made me breath a sigh of relief, knowing that I too will not always be on top of this blogging adventure that is before me. I will remember your words: I can be a good blogger and miss a post. Thank you for that.

    My celebration link-up is simply that I launched my blog, and wrote my first post! I don’t see a button to click on where I link up, so I’ll just assume leaving my URL above will suffice this week.

    Looking forward to more reading, writing, and sharing with you.

    PS - Met and visited w/you briefly at your session at NCTE in November. Loved your family’s story, and I shared w/you my daughter and son-in-law’s plans to foster a young boy. I am happy to report they are all doing terrific.

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  2. Ruth,
    Love, Love, Love this post!

    these words . . ."This is possible because I have a tribe full of grace. You, my dear friends, are my celebration. I write because you read. I write because you care about my story and not about pre-scheduled blog posts. I write because you are there on the other side of the screen.

    Thank you for letting me be more than a good blogger.

    Thank you for the gift of letting me be me."

    It's not the schedule. It's doing the work. And sometimes, it just doesn't fit into life! Totally "grace"!

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  3. I always figure if I don't see something expected that there were other things that took over. There really was no problem finding people. I know most, so found some, then went to twitter. I'm glad you did good things for you and the family, a "first Saturday" home feels very good indeed. Hope your week is beginning great. We have rain in the forecast "again" and I'm happy!

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  4. Loved this post, Ruth! It is true that we write because others will read. I think your post lets us know it is important to take care of ourselves, breathe in and out, occasionally go off schedule! There is something so delightful in spontaneity - in doing the unexpected. I think I will sit here and leisurely read your post one more time. With love...Lynne

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  5. Loved this post, Ruth! It is true that we write because others will read. I think your post lets us know it is important to take care of ourselves, breathe in and out, occasionally go off schedule! There is something so delightful in spontaneity - in doing the unexpected. I think I will sit here and leisurely read your post one more time. With love...Lynne

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  6. Reading your posts are always a comfort. I was feeling guilty about being away from posting, but your blog affirms that we all get busy. I'm always in awe of how you accomplish so much, especially with your family responsibilities. Thanks for reminding me it is okay to take time to breathe, appreciate time with family, and ourselves.

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  7. You could be sitting in my kitchen right now and we could be talking about who we think we ought to be versus who we really are. We'd laugh and both decide it's best to be who we are. I love you for that! And I'm so glad that the excuse was you decided not to rush. How awesome is that! And as Linda said, we found each other any way. That's the way community works. I'm so happy my friend Dani is joining us!

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  8. Borrowing a few words (adapted) from the Robert Frost poem I cited in my celebration post -

    " Oh, give us pleasure in a Friday night,
    When Andy and a crime show feel just right;
    And make us happy for banana bread,
    As aroma pulls us to a perfect spread."

    So, so glad you made time this weekend to simply be in the moment with loved ones. Blogs posts come and blog posts go!
    Some things are more important and you chose the better part, my friend.
    Some of us found each other like Linda and Margaret mentioned. Here's my celebration post.
    http://pleasuresfromthepage.blogspot.com/2017/04/npm-day-22-letter-t-and-celebrate-this_22.html
    Sorry, but I just can't resist posting those grandson pics. Happy Monday!

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  9. It sort of makes the celebration all that much more special, knowing that each and every time you post the link-up, it is a choice--not an obligation, not to meet someone's demand, not a burden.

    I am deeply grateful for your words every time I encounter them. I love the way you work on living unapologetically. It makes my heart happy that you extended yourself the grace to choose no screen time when it was right for you. For YOU. I like that sound of that.

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  10. Amen! I love the ish deadline. Thank you for the encouragement to live in the moment. You can't always plan the moment. Good for you!

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  11. Ruth, I love this. It's so important that we give ourselves some grace as writers and as people. I don't give myself enough grace, and I am going to work on that.

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