I'm glad you are here to celebrate!
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I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but somehow we went from toys and goldfish crackers to late night movies and high heels. We don't have a house full of little kids anymore. I don't miss it as much as I thought I would. It reminds me of a stance I claimed a decade ago as Sam moved from infant to toddler.
I reread the caption [on an Instagram photo that could have been my undoing], My favorite season of parenthood yet, and I was reminded of a young momma who was completely captivated by her blue-eyed toddler. I was younger then, before I was scraped by the ugly of the world, and I was enamored by how quickly my little boy changed. I missed the late night bottles in the wooden rocking chair, but I loved that he danced in the kitchen while I cooked dinner. I missed pureeing the baby food, but I loved that he took the last sip of my tea each morning.
I realized parenting was always going to be about missing something and loving something new. The seasons change. I decided then, as a young momma -- before I knew the way trauma changes a child and before I knew I had two daughters and another son out there facing the ugly this world offers, waiting to someday let me be their momma too -- I decided I would always allow my favorite season of parenthood to be the current season.
The Instagram post stung not because I'm an inferior momma, but because it revealed that I'm not keeping up my end of the deal. I'm not letting right now be my favorite season of parenthood.
Parenting is always about missing something and loving something new. As they get busier, I have to be still. This isn't easy in a world where busy is a badge of honor.
Hannah slid across the kitchen counter, her knees wobbly on the stool, and the stories and thoughts and giggles spilled out. I waited for dinner to finish cooking. There were a zillion other things for me to do, but I sat and I listened.
I sometimes forget that I don't have to be busy. Busy is a choice, a decision, a mindset. I do not have to decide to be busy. There is another option.
I have time.
It is true.
Don't believe the lie the universe is telling.
Busy isn't important. Busy isn't success. Busy isn't achievement.I'm heading into a weekend filled with good stuff -- there are 8 major commitments on our calendar for the next two days. Rather than lamenting, We're so busy! Andy and I have decided to claim time. We are an active family, and there are events outside of our control. We didn't schedule the band competition or the boy scout outing. We didn't schedule the visitation times or the Super Bowl. We simply said Yes, we have time.
This weekend I'll wash laundry a little later at night than I prefer and my walks will be a little shorter than I prefer. This is the essence of having time -- we make adjustments to our preferences in order to have time to love more.
Because in the end, it's not about being busy, but about loving more.
I'm glad you are here to celebrate. Your act is one of claiming time. Cheers!